Written by Meme Bettereau
As a parent, home-school mum of nearly 30 yrs, a tutor and an observer it’s obvious to me that ‘education’ fails miserably leaving society miserable and impoverished. It’s not working and it hasn’t for a long time now.
You can see it’s fruits wherever you go. It’s witnessed in the faces of the people you pass on the streets, drive alongside and on social media. Sitting in the food court of your local mall it will be observed all around you. You can see the baggage people carry, their self-esteem, how they present and carry themselves, how they are with other people. Lost dreams, missed opportunities, potentials never realised, defeated in hardness, brokenness, with hopes squashed.
Giving our children a strong foundation for life so that their hopes, dreams and potentials are protected and nurtured will secure their future. Teaching them how to see themselves, know themselves, how to be self-sustaining emotionally and physically and how to guard and keep themselves is more important than memorizing facts and fictions. Knowing one’s self, one’s passions, talents and hopes will provide for a much more satisfying, productive and successful life. Having the ability to think, know, make plans and how to alter plans without losing or compromising one’s self will make them strong, focused and independent people who are capable of finding ways to provide and care for themselves always.
We must ensure our children are self-sustaining, whole and free people. Free in their minds from the baggage that holds people back. Free from all the hooks, hurts, and harms which may haunt them and will hold them captive and constrained.
All people thrive and therefore need a feeling of security and freedom. This will provide the base in which their self-esteem and self-care will blossom healthy, intact, well balanced and will preserve and protect them in ways you cannot.
Education, if used in the context of laying a firm, solid and sustaining base, must be reexamined, overhauled and reconstructed. I see the harm and disparage all the time with the children I tutor.
I ask them a question to ascertain not only their level but the place where something has come in to tell them they’re not good enough, bright enough at maths, spelling, remembering, knowing. That’s where you find their blockages like a hook or bolder impeding their growth, holding them back and hurting them.
They are entangled, torn, pushed and pulled and in a few short years, they will be discarded, discouraged and disheartened. Their whole body language changes and they become hesitant when I ask them questions. They are unsure, look away and become uncomfortable.
They say “I’m no good at…” or “I have a lot of trouble with…”. That’s where I go in to remove with care the hooks and repair the damages. I care for them and protect their sore spots with love and appreciation for them as a people. Love is like medicine. Like natural herbs, love can take away or fade their spirits scars. Then after some time of nurturing they suddenly ‘get’ what I’m teaching them. To watch their ‘ah-ha’ moments of excitement when the math concept is understood has been my favourite and driving force in ‘teaching’ children.
It’s the love, care, appreciation and nurture that helps the children connect with themselves freeing them to grasp the concepts they are being taught. They begin to heal their own wounds. It’s an amazing experience to witness.
‘Education’ isn’t about throwing facts in their face or pushing them along to get them through like in a factory. It’s about connecting with them, nurturing them, caring for them and mentoring them.
Have fun and they will have fun. Then they won’t grow up too soon and you will remain young. Follow your own dreams and set your direction and give them a safe place to follow and set their own dreams and directions. Do so naturally without force or worry.
Parents worry more about their child doing or achieving certain goals or levels which are predetermined and often times unnatural to a young spirit. Instead, alleviate your worries and allow your child to blossom as nature intends. Let them find their own place at their pace.
They will be where they need to be because their various passions and talents will drive them there. Go with them. Share their journey by watching them grow, watering them when needed, shine your warmth and care on them and watch them develop and blossom. Watch them come into their own
When they are able to bloom and blossom according to their own kind, in the place they choose to plant themselves according to their genetic makeup instead of being forced it will change the world.
They will see and know their purpose and you will bear witness the exquisite array of lights they’ve come to shine in this darkened world. And, just as on an airplane, you must FIRST put on your own mask before you help your child, you MUST check or chuck your own baggage.
As you set to ensure the security and freedom of your child you will need to set time to free your own hooks and insecurities.
Your child will naturally follow your actions more than your words. So be kind, nurturing and care for yourself. Bloom and watch your child bud, blossom and bloom.