Written by Kylie
There was once a time when the idea of purposefully scheduling ‘my time’ made me literally roll my eyes. I would think:
‘I am just not that kind of mum’ , ‘I don’t need time away from my kids’ or ‘ I don’t value getting my nails done or sipping cocktails. Its just not me ok.’
I cringed at the idea of overindulging. I settled on a little quiet time each day because anything else gave me a ‘guilty aftertaste’. My justification for putting ‘my time’ to the bottom of the list was:
‘I am coping, I am happy, I like my kids and I have no problems.’
My Self-Judgement: Self care is only needed when you are not coping.
This my friends is what you call ‘life draining thinking’ and was responsible for my undoing.
My Undoing: During a recent life season of intense change in circumstances, I found myself wishing for more self care time. Continuing to make the choice to deny myself of this time had lead me to default to reactive parenting ways. I became the very thing I feared and judged the most – not coping!
My Thinking Reframe: Being a mother is my most important focus however it does not supersede my need for ‘my time’. My needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
If my goal is to live and parent more intentionally so I can respond to circumstances rather than react:
SELF CARE is NECESSITY and NOT A LUXURY.
It allows me to refresh my mind, pause and recognise my needs so I can better honour my heart. It doesn’t need to be for hours or even cost a thing. It just needs to happen.
This 4:1:1 method helps me achieve self care in bite size pieces. I choose one item from each area that has been listed by priority to me. So when I am really time poor, I know I have simple choices to make.
How to achieve Self Care in bite size pieces:
The 4:1:1 Method
1.Drink 2L of Water
2.Be Active: have a dance party, do yoga stretches, go walking, play tag with kids
1.Choose a positive affirmation & repeat multiple times throughout day
3.Have heart to heart conversation
1.Ponder on what I’m grateful for
2.Sing out loud or use earphones to listen to favourite music
3.Marvel at nature while having a hot drink/ driving/ walking
1.Read a book/watch a film/ engage in conversation you find stimulating
2.Learn something new
3.Work on a hobby
You can use this method in your day or even get creative and make your own. All you need is make a start. What is your first self judgement or life draining thought you can reframe right now?
Go ahead – give yourself the time to ponder
OWN your journey, CHOOSE and LIVE with LOVE.